Photo of woman picking raspberries.

Writer Brain… Again

Brain: Pssst!

Me: Hubba wuh?

Brain (eagerly): Check out this killer opening line–

Me: Stop that!  I’m already up to my eyeballs in the not-so-short story you tricked me into “briefly” setting aside the novel for.

Brain (baffled): So?

Me: And I’m currently stuck in the middle of an overgrown patch of raspberries, getting savaged by insects.

Brain (still baffled): And your point is what, exactly?

Me: I don’t have anything to write with.  I’m busy!

Brain: You could carve it into that rhubarb leaf over there, with your fingernail… or a stick.

Me: That’s not rhubarb.

Brain: It’ll literally take you twenty seconds.

Me: You’ve obviously never tried etching an opening line into a leaf of burdok.

Brain (seriously): I’m beginning to think you don’t really appreciate me.

Me: <eyeroll>

Brain: I give everything to you.  And you take it all, but you can’t spare thirty seconds for me when I need you.

Me: You’re getting a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?

Brain: Actually, I think you’re selfish.  And I haven’t had a vacation in a while.  And maybe I should go find someone who wants me around!

Me: Oh, come on.  You know that’s not true–

Brain: Just you wait.  You’ll come looking for me, and I won’t be there.

Me (resigned): *sigh*  I’m sorry, all right?  I didn’t mean it.  I’m a horrible person, and I don’t deserve to bask in all your awesome.

Brain: True.

Me: Please don’t go.

Brain: <dramatic pause> Fine.  I’ll stay.  This time.

Me: Thank you.

Brain: So about that opening line…

Check out all the Writer Brain shenanigans in reverse chronological order here.

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Author of adult and young adult speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction, dark fiction)

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