Photo of woman picking raspberries.

Writer Brain… Again

Brain: Pssst!

Me: Hubba wuh?

Brain (eagerly): Check out this killer opening line–

Me: Stop that!  I’m already up to my eyeballs in the not-so-short story you tricked me into “briefly” setting aside the novel for.

Brain (baffled): So?

Me: And I’m currently stuck in the middle of an overgrown patch of raspberries, getting savaged by insects.

Brain (still baffled): And your point is what, exactly?

Me: I don’t have anything to write with.  I’m busy!

Brain: You could carve it into that rhubarb leaf over there, with your fingernail… or a stick.

Me: That’s not rhubarb.

Brain: It’ll literally take you twenty seconds.

Me: You’ve obviously never tried etching an opening line into a leaf of burdok.

Brain (seriously): I’m beginning to think you don’t really appreciate me.

Me: <eyeroll>

Brain: I give everything to you.  And you take it all, but you can’t spare thirty seconds for me when I need you.

Me: You’re getting a bit melodramatic, don’t you think?

Brain: Actually, I think you’re selfish.  And I haven’t had a vacation in a while.  And maybe I should go find someone who wants me around!

Me: Oh, come on.  You know that’s not true–

Brain: Just you wait.  You’ll come looking for me, and I won’t be there.

Me (resigned): *sigh*  I’m sorry, all right?  I didn’t mean it.  I’m a horrible person, and I don’t deserve to bask in all your awesome.

Brain: True.

Me: Please don’t go.

Brain: <dramatic pause> Fine.  I’ll stay.  This time.

Me: Thank you.

Brain: So about that opening line…



Check out all the Writer Brain shenanigans in reverse chronological order here.

Published by

S.N.Arly

Author of adult and young adult speculative fiction (fantasy, science fiction, dark fiction)

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